As someone who has worked alongside senior executives and emerging leaders for more years than I care to admit, I’ve seen first hand that the most successful leaders are the ones who lead themselves first.
What does that mean? It means they are self-aware, recognizing their own weaknesses and how others perceive them. They know how to emotionally ground themselves in order to show up calmly and consistently for the people they lead, regardless of the situation. The best leaders welcome radical collaboration – they welcome different perspectives and people who challenge their world-view. They don’t shy away or shut down when tensions rise and challenges emerge; they lean in and get curious.
Over the years, I’ve seen the negative impact of leaders who don’t lead themselves first. I’ve witnessed the negative impact it has on their teams when they have no awareness of how they are showing up, how their words land, the way their heavy-handed, inconsistent or hesitant leadership style creates doubt and friction. I’ve seen how their projects stall or fail when they reject new ideas or ways of doing business.
What people want most from their leaders is not forced authority; they want a leader who radiates calm, consistent confidence. Someone who communicates clearly. Someone who expresses gratitude and appreciation, who corrects and redirects with clarity and respect. Someone who has the courage to embrace change and lead others through it, and the humility to admit when they are wrong.
Many new and emerging leaders, most of whom are promoted into leadership roles without support, panic when faced with those expectations. But leadership isn’t something you are born with; it’s an acquired skill. It’s an ongoing process of learning and adapting as you rise to lead different teams in different places and situations, and as you grow and develop personally and professionally. It’s a dance between reflection, decisive action and deep collaboration as you learn to read the room, learning when to inspire and when to direct.
That learning begins with leading yourself. Creating a habit of personal reflection where your self-awareness is honed. Creating systems that support your personal and professional priorities. Actively scheduling in and taking time away from work activities to refill your personal cup, which renews your perspective and creates clarity. Hiring a coach and engaging with mentors and trusted advisors to fill in your knowledge gaps and help you navigate challenging situations.
When you lead yourself first, you can then lead others from that place of calm confidence; emotionally grounded, deeply curious and open to innovation, and trusting that what you don’t know, you will learn. When you center yourself in that space, you become the type of leader who inspires loyalty and respect.
If you’re struggling to rise into your leadership, whether you are leading a company, a business, a team, a family, or simply leading yourself into your next chapter, remember; lead yourself first, and the rest will fall into place.
